I’m here.

It used to hide behind closed doors. Occasionally it would peek out and I’d shove it back into its dark room. Lately its been appearing everywhere and has permeated my entire existence.

I have bipolar disorder.

I was recently diagnosed. This wasn’t a shock to me; my sister 10 years my elder has bipolar disorder as well, and I know that there is a genetic component to the dis-ease. My life has been a series of magical and dark experiences. Most of my friends would describe me as “sensitive,” easily moved by the shifting of tides. 

A few months after my diagnosis, I started taking medication. It was suggested by my psychotherapist, whom I trust with my entire being. 

I have recently looked online for other athletes who have bipolar disorder. I came across a few, but not many. I couldn’t find another current women’s professional soccer player who speaks openly about her mental illness, although I’m sure there are others out there. I’m not surprised, as there aren’t many benefits to revealing something about yourself that holds little more than a lifetime of struggle and heavy stigma. I’m here, sharing it with all of you because:

  • I want to live an honest and authentic life.
  • I want to do my part in decreasing the stigma around bipolar disorder.
  • I believe that we are alive to share our experiences and connect with others.
  • I enjoy expressing myself through writing.
  • I understand that our existence is transient, and I refuse to spend my short life hiding something that is very much a part of who I am.

Join me on my journey, if you feel inclined.